Dzama Guide to Grand Cayman

Dzama Guide to Grand Cayman: Snuggling with Stingrays

Morning Mai Tai fuel tanks full (it’s alright, your on vacation), you step onto the solid ground of the hurricane ravaged heaven known as Grand Cayman. The subtle sound of the sea and gentle rustle of the palm trees is every so often interrupted by the welcome bellow of a Sailor Jerry type character chopping coconuts in the square. Known only as the Coconut Man, he sits serving fresh coconut milk straight from the coconut while hollering one of three phrases:

“Have a good day mon, have a good day!”
“Small island, small pop-oo-lat-ion!”
“Beautiful morning mon, welcome to da island!”

That’s one of the first things you’ll notice about Grand Cayman that sets it apart: No one is trying to sell you overpriced touristy junk. You get a genuine feeling that they just want you to have fun.

Hop in a taxi, and you’ll see that a lot of the island is still rebuilding from hurricane Ivan. Deserted resorts and rubble still line the streets serving as a reminder that Grand Cayman is a two sided coin: on one side, opulent resorts for the rich, royal, and famous; and on the other, the struggle of the people of the island to survive and rebuild.

Zombie Killer T-Shirt
Uzi 9mm
12 Gauge Slug Shotgun
Zombie AR-15
M1911 .45 Handgun

The Dzama Guide to Vegas: Zombie Certification

Alright, you get off the plane in Vegas, you’re jet-lagged as hell, and your stomach is protesting wildly at the onslaught of stale peanuts it’s been forced to digest for the past 6 hours  — what is the first thing you’re gonna do?

If you answered, “Grab a gun and shoot zombies” — you’re close. Eat tacos was the answer we were looking for — because if your stomach is gonna get out of line, it’s gonna get a healthy dose of habanero hot sauce (and might I reccommend the T&T Hell Sauce (so freaking good)) to put it back in its place (and you should probably have your current mental state evaluated. Really, zombies before tacos? Please…). It’s dangerous to fire a weapon without a belly full of Tacos. Plus, if you are going to be standing in line at The Gun Store for three hours (One of those hours being in the hot Las Vegas sun) waiting to receive your Zombie Killing Certification, passing out in the line is an automatic fail; you should probably make a pit-stop at Tacos and Tequila. But remember kids, alcohol and semi-automatic death dealers don’t mix, so maybe hold off on the margaritas. I know it’s hard, since alcohol is way more abundant than water here, but try anyway.

Picture of Dzama's Tattoo

The Dzama Guide to Montreal

Originally Written for Fuzednotions

Some of you may have noticed that on August 18th and 19th, both Jess and I (Justin) were absent from Fuzednotions. For those who didn’t notice: pfft thanks. Anyway, this was because we were in Montreal from the 18th to the 21st. We take the trip every year with a group of friends and it’s always a great time. So, for those that like to experience things vicariously or are looking for suggestions on what to do when you go to this amazing city – this blog is for you.

A scenic photo of the highway between North Bay and Ottawa7:00 in the morning and we are out of the Sault: stuffed in my Impala and with a coffee induced state of wakefulness.  All that stands between us and 2 full days in one of the greatest cities in Canada is almost 1000 km of road and about 13 hours – ok, when put that way it sounds pretty horrendous actually. However, like a beacon of light at the end of a tunnel, Burger World in North Bay provides a great halfway point between here and there while providing some amazing burgers as well. It’s also a good preparation for the absolute void that is the stretch between North Bay and Ottawa. Seriously, you see that picture? Nice right? Now look at it for 5 hours.